Improve the handling of verbose/debug messages

Improve the handling of verbose/debug messages

The sender no longer allows a filelist to be sent in the middle of
parsing an incoming message, so that the directory sending doesn't block
all further input reading.  The generator no longer allows recursive
reading of info/error messages when it is waiting for the message buffer
to flush.  This avoids a stack overflow when lots of messages are coming
from the receiver and the sender is not reading things quickly enough.
The I/O code now avoids sending debug messages that could mess up the
I/O buffer it was in the middle of tweaking.  This fixes an infinite
loop in reduce_iobuf_size() with high levels of debug enabled.  Several
I/O-related messages were changed to output only when --msgs2stderr is
enabled.